New Piccies

Quickly updating with just a few piccies of the girls, taken at rugby on Saturday - Thank You Derryn!

Will update you all on life soon soon - promise

Lovies

me xxx

Someone Else's Story

So, my friend Kerri just emailed me this woman's wax story.. it is SO funny. Sister Meg and I had a similar experience with cold wax on our eyebrows, and Taide tried to wax the cat while we were ripping our eyebrows off, it was sooo funny.. But read this story, it will make you chuckle, guaranteed.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner,
play with the kids.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next
few hours:

'Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those
'cold wax' kits.

No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your
hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg
(or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to
figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together.

Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the
hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I
lay the strip across my thigh.

Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!


Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin
extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north.

After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the
ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of
my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down
to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!!

Blinded from pain!!!!....

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
strip. CRAP!

Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious.

Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe............

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax-covered strip, the one that has caused
me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not!

I touch.

I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped
upon the toilet?

I know I need to do something.

So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut!

My butt is sealed shut.

Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself .....................

'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!'

What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse
the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it
off, right???


*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub -

The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war
or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
the tub...in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented
myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few
months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
secret of how to get me undone.

It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued
together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking
cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.

I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of
the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the
wax off with a razor.

Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot
wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm
pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this
event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY STARS !!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

'IT WORKS !!!

It works !!! ' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she
hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair...

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE...ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color ~~~

How funny is that???

Keep Smiling
Lovies
me xxx

My little niece

My niece Sian, had her Matric dance two weeks ago - she is SO grown up and I am starting to feel old.........! She looks stunning, so Sianie this post is dedicated to you my babe - you are one gorgeous girl, inside and out. Love you loads!!

Sian and the dude - i cant remember his name! sorry!

Sian and the dude again

I love this picture! She has a cute naughty face on - Ooh Sianie - scandalous!

And Sian and my fabulous sister Meg - I dont think i've ever put a pic of meg on here - so here you go!

Keep smiling,

me xxx

The Things we do for our kids...

Ok, forget the most boring job in the world post - thats just plain old boring.. what was i thinking?

The Things we do for our kids - even if you're not a parent, I'm sure you will find these amusing :)

Shanah - (who is now 3 by the way, can you believe my baby is 3 already??) got a new soccer ball. This child is amazing with this thing, she can spin it, toss it, catch it, and all those other sporty things. She gets SO irritated with me because Mommy is ... well....very crap at catching balls. ( no rude comments here please)

So, we get the new ball, and she decides we need to give the ball a party. A party for a ball my baby? " Yes MOMMEEE, Me want party for my ballie! " Ok, my love, calm down to a panic.. We all proceeded to sit round the table with the ball taking centre stage while Shanah sang it a song at the top of her lungs and cut up the 'cake' ( playdough cake ) By this stage Niamh and Tayla were beyond boredom and were kicking each other under the table, all the while whispering under their breath " stupid sister, stupid ball, stupid cake " and I was like the mother from the INCREDIBLES holding them apart with my Elasta-girl arms while Shanah served us all 'cake' After trying to convince her that no matter how hard she shuved the cake into the balls 'mouth' it was NOT going to swallow, the party was over. Well, we thought it was - Shanah then said we must all say 'Prawers' (prayers) and Niamh had to pray for the ball. Already dying of soccer ball party embarrassment, she muttered a prayer that went as follows:

Dear God, I cannot believe my mom is making me have a party for a ball, Please help her. Oh, and tell Tayla to get off my foot, Oh and one more thing God, please help the Muslims

Don't ask where the last part came in, I just dont know.

Another friend of mine had a Facebook status update that just said : Hetha... has just had a funeral for a goldfish.

Oh, I would have loved to have been present for THAT. Dear God, please look after this dead fish, he's been a good fish and has served me well... I'm sorry he was so bored swimming round and round the same goldfish bowl for a year, and I'm sorry mommy flushed him down the toilet, but please... spare a thought for him. Too cute :)

In honor of Shanah here are 2 piccies of her, one of the day she was born, and how she is now - cutie pie.

Keep Smiling,

Lovies

me xxx

So, I'm back!

Hello!! I am back, after much persuasion from friends to 'get your arse in gear and update your blog!' - I am trying to be inspired and write a little something for you to read..

I could sit here and write about how hectic life has been, decisions that needed to be made, my house that is an absolute pig sty, etc etc etc, but I think all that boring, draining reading will make you all reach for your mouse and click the cross in the top right hand corner of your screen, so I'm going to stop right there! No excuses, I have been a crap blogger and a crap friend of late - and I am sorry - from the bottom of my beating heart :)

This post is just going to get me back into the swing of things, so I am just posting some photies of what I've been doing lately to update you all a little, and its easier on my brain to just caption the photies instead of writing a long in-depth story - lazy i know!

So, Here goes:

Finally, the photies of Kat's leaving party!

1) Kat - I know you are going to kill me for this pic - but seriously, it is all over facebook, so I dont think you will mind me putting it here...

This gorgeous green waistcoat was part of my leaving present to Kat, as most of you know, Kat & I were Mugg n Bean Pity Party Junkies, and it took a LOT of 'removing from the refugee camp' skills (Thanks Pete Feet... ) for me to get this limited edition, gorgeous, green Mugg n Bean, knitted waistcoast to Kat. I can't tell you the whole story because Pete and I may get arrested, so lets just leave it at that. Kat, I KNOW you are wearing this every day..

2) Ok, this is us looking a little more normal...

3) Me & Medha - one of the i-to-i volunteers, isnt she beautiful? Miss you my friend.. She chopped that skirt up all by herself - I'm desperately looking for a mini denim skirt, I should have just nicked yours ;)

4) Ok, this is explainable - they serve these awesome 'Bucket Cocktails' at Octopus Garden which are absolutley delicious, although lethal.. I really was just posing for the camera - I dont know about you two though! ;)

5) Emma & Craig - our 'Welshies'. This was somewhere else, but you guys deserve a piccie on my blog because we love you lots:

Ok, moving on:

Girls night at Bohemian Yard - this was a lot of fun. Bohemian Y is a new restaurant opened in Fish-Hoek with live 'diva' entertainment, and very... erm .. Bohemain Decor! Its very girly and was so much fun..

1) Me & Lou:

2) Hazel - centre of attention :) check pams face on the right hand side - ha ha

3) Me, Megs and Shel, sipping up the strawberry daquiri's - crap, my stomach roll is not actually that fat!! I hope. Bad lighting clearly. Wow, thats really bad. Going home now to eat NOTHING but air and mung beans.

Louise's braai!

1) The gals:
2) - crap i have a number 2 but the picture uploader wont connect now!

Clearly a sign that I have shown you enough and I need to go get some food. - well, some mung beans.

I will write on Monday - PROMISE - I already have the topic: The world's worst jobs - whats your idea of the absolute worst job in the world?

Keep Smiling,
Lovies
me xxx

Nikki Noo's Art

I know I've been a bad blogger of late... Life is wearing me down at the moment and I don't have a second to fart never mind blog.. I am getting organized though and will get back to normal asap - promise :)

I just found these awesome pics of my friend Nicole's art - she sketched / painted ( sorry friend, im so crap ) all of these herself - you are so talented my friend...

This one is clearly inspired by me:

oh, and this one :

and this one is my absolute favourite - I'm going to buy it. Its called 'Marriage: 6am' i think? I love it - Nic, I want this one.

1940's sex in the city girls :)

Ok, I'm off to bed, need to ssslllleeeeeppp,

Keep Smiling,

Lovies

me xxx

The craziest things happen to me..

So, I dropped off dear Nathalie at the airport this morning, and even though its a fantastically warm, sunny day, I was craving a hot chocolate. I pulled in to the Wild Bean Cafe by the airport (thanks to fabulous friend Lana for introducing me to the BEST hot chocolate in the world - and Yes, its from a petrol station) and strutted across the car park with my piping hot, hot chocolate in hand. Whilst basking in the sunshine, mid-strut - some MORON walks STRAIGHT into me and chucks the whole mug of BOILING hot, hot choc down my chest... and laughs and walks off. The forecourt is FULL of people and everyone is just staring at me in disbelief. By now my boobies are really stinging and i'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. I just jumped in my car, stripped off my top and drove all the way home in my bra, crying from the pain, cursing the seat belt for being strategically placed across my right boob.

What a first-class utter Moron. And it still hurts 3 hours later, for the record.

We went on our girls night on Friday night and had so much fun, will post pics when I get some from my camera friends.

Off to fetch Shane at the beach, tough life isn't it?

Keep Smiling and sending sympathy for my sore boobies,
Lovies
me xxx